We've been sold a lie about work and family.
The lie sounds reasonable: "You need work-life balance. Keep them separate. Protect your family from your work."
But here’s the thing: the goal shouldn’t be balance. It should be alignment.
The abnormal became normal
Go back 100 years. Most families still worked together. Farms. Trades. Shops… Kids grew up watching their parents build, solve problems, create value.
Fast forward to today: Everyone leaves at 7 AM. Mom or Dad drops the kids at daycare. Everyone's in different buildings, doing different things, living separate lives.
We call this "normal."
But it's not. It's pretty new. And it's not working.
Balance vs. Integration
If you work a W-2, you absolutely need boundaries. Why? Because your company doesn't care about your family's goals. Their priorities and yours are competing. You have to protect one from the other.
But if you're building a family business? The rules change. You don't need work-life balance. You need work-family integration.
Your business goals should align with your family values. Not compete with them. Not pull you away from them. Support them.
That's the difference.
Stop building two separate lives
And when we make the jump into doing our own thing? Most of us bring this mindset with us. Nearly every entrepreneur I know are living in two worlds.
There's "work mode"… where they're focused, driven, building something meaningful.
And there's "family mode"… where they're present (sort of), but mentally still thinking about the business.
They're constantly switching hats. Work hat. Parent hat. Back to work hat. It's exhausting. Better than the 9-5? Maybe. But still missing something.
What if you didn't have to choose? What if your business wasn't this separate thing you did for your family, but something you built with them?
That's integration.
Your business is a garden, not a basement
Here's how most entrepreneurs think about their business:
It's something they work on in isolation. Away from the family. Tucked in the basement, so to speak. Separate, out of sight, where it won't bother anyone.
They think they're protecting their family by keeping it hidden. But all they're doing is building alone.
That's not how we see it.
Our family businesses are gardens. They grow in plain sight. They require tending… sometimes daily. They can flourish and overflow if you care for them well. And everyone gets to see them grow.
When you plant a garden, you don't hide it in the basement. You put it where the sun hits. Where your kids can see it. Where they can help water, pull weeds, and eventually harvest.
Same with business.
Don't build in the basement. Don't tuck it away from your family because you think it'll protect them.
Bring it up into the light. Let them see what you're building. Hand them tools. Teach them how things grow.
That's when your business stops being something you do for your family and becomes something you do with them.
And that changes everything.
Start your garden where you are
Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "That's great for you, Jordan. But I'm still in a W-2. I don't have a family business to integrate."
Start anyway.
Integration isn't just for entrepreneurs. It's for anyone who wants their family to understand what they're building. Even if you're building it for someone else right now.
Stop shutting off work the moment you walk in the door. Stop defaulting to "it was a good day" when your spouse or kids asks how things went.
Instead, bring them in:
Tell your spouse about the project you're working on. What's hard about it? What would success look like? Let them think alongside you.
Share your goals with your kids. "I'm trying to land this client this week. Pray for me." Let them see what you're aiming for.
Talk about the challenges. When something goes wrong at work, don't hide it. Show them how you're solving it.
Even if you never plan to leave your job, this matters. Because you're teaching your kids how to think about work. How to handle pressure. How to solve problems.
That's integration. And it starts today. Not "someday" when you finally have your own business.
Here's what to do this week:
This week, pick one conversation you'd normally keep to yourself.
Share it with your family. A goal you're working toward. A problem you're solving. A win you're chasing. Let them into your world. See what happens.
Integration doesn't require a perfect setup. It just requires intention. Your business (or your job) isn't something you protect your family from.
It's a garden. Invite them in. Show them how things grow.
That's how legacy gets built.
Share this with a friend who’s starting their ‘garden’.
Jordan Schmitt
Community highlights
This past week, we were joined by business executives, consultants, tech workers. And several family business owners across real estate, consulting, wealth management, home services, franchises, and more!
I loved hearing from so many of you. Here's one awesome note we received:
‘It was one of your posts probably a year or two ago now about the freedom that comes with being business owners and the courage to take the leap that inspired me to learn more about the options. We're currently in the process of buying a business!’
Let's cheer them on!
If there's a specific topic you're interested in, let me hear from you. Respond to this email. My mind is on fire with ideas, but I'd love to know what matters most to this community.
-Jordan 🤠
That’s All for Now
Hope you enjoyed today’s message.
The best way to support us is to check out our sponsors (the businesses supporting family business). Our partner this week is Hubspot.
